Chelsea vs. Hull City (Stamford Bridge, Saturday 15th August,12:45pm)
It seems like an eternity since we had waved off Guus Hiddink after the game at Blackburn so frankly it was a relief to finally back at the Bridge for the start of the Premier League season. Thanks to Sky we all had to get up early, and thanks to TFL the tube was a joke - a sign that nothing much has changed.
Nothing that is aside from the presence of a lottery that nobody seemed bothered about entering and a brass band that we all agreed was amusing as they marched around playing “Blue is the Colour” but then surmised that by the time we host Burnley at the end of the month the novelty would have worn off completely. Sturridge, Zhirkov and Turnbull all received a warm welcome from the home support as they were introduced as did JT when the team sheet was read out. As the teams came out we all got the chance to show our appreciation for the new boss as he waved from the dugout.
I’d heard everything from 3-0 to 8-0 as confident predictions prior to the game but had put money on 2-1 Chelsea as a more conservative guess. We started well. Our interest had been sparked for the opposition when they signed Stephen H**t days before the fixture and it took him less than thirty seconds to live up to his stellar reputation and stick a boot into Lamps.
Barely a minute later we had already had our first attempt on goal, when Drogs put one wide. It took a full ten minutes for Hull to come into our half with any motivation when they took advantage of our dozing. Chances from JT’s head contributed as we gave them the complete run around, culminating in a shot from Malouda on 25 minutes. What followed next however left a sour taste.
Hull took some rare initiative and pressed forward. A lucky deflection falling at the feet of Satan’s spawn himself as he smugly put it past Cech and ran off gloating. Needless to say it didn’t do him any favours as far as the crowd was concerned. If I’d have had a penny for every death threat I heard chucked his way the drinks would have been on me post match.
The visitors sat back immediately, giving rise to more attacking from Chelsea until Mikel was brought to ground on the edge of the area ten minutes after the opener. Despite some arm flapping and moaning from Phil Brown the free kick was awarded and Drogba hit a beauty into the right hand side of the net. There could have been more before half time, the best being a volley from Essien, and Malouda put his heart and soul into winning the ball with twelve rolls into the ad boards after a minor challenge but none came to pass and despite having been far superior we went into the break level.
Within seconds of the action resuming Chelsea were hammering the Hull end. Despite the ten men parked in the area we continued to threaten the goal and were unlucky not to take the lead. For twenty minutes Hull desperately defended as Anelka missed sitters (not his best day) Carvalho pushed forward and Lamps had a chance amongst others. The visitors seemed content to settle for a point and the time-wasting began in earnest on 55 minutes with dawdling from the keeper. On it went as the half progressed and although we dominated it seemed things weren’t going to go our way. Even Bosingwa had a shot - that’s how bad the opposition were. Kalou looked bright and the weather was evidently warm enough for Deco as he gave himself a proper workout looking for a winner. In the end it was Drogs who came through in the midst of a fully justified six minutes of injury time with a misplaced cross that found the net. My only beef with him was that we’d all been telling various other supporters that it was clearly intentional and a beautiful shot until he bloody owned up on Sky and made us all look foolish.
Twat of the Day: Never in question. Had the audacity to score at Stamford Bridge but showed himself up for the filth he is.
Quote of the day: My brother when we had got all the way home and he finally realised who Stephen H**t was. “Oh was that him? I thought we were booing him because he had shit hair. Now I know that I really hate the c***.”
Chelsea: Cech, Bosingwa, Ricky, JT, Ashley Cole, Mikel (Ballack, 45) Essien, Malouda, (Deco 68) Lampard, Anelka, (Kalooooooou 78) Drogs.
Hull: Who cares - defensive-minded, whiny, northern time-wasters who got what they deserved. I liked them last year, now they have signed the [Berkshire] Hunt from Reading they’ve gone down in my estimation...
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