Our reputation for bold and insightful journalism, augmented by dint of coercion, subterfuge, and indeed blackmail, has led to us acquiring the EXCLUSIVE rights to England "captain" Steven Gerrard's own personal world cup diary. It will appear serialised and unabridged - although edited slightly for spelling and grammar - on these very webpages in the coming days and weeks (depending on the speed at which our typewriter-bound monkeys can churn it out, and how long the banana supply holds up). Watch this space (or, given our subject, watch all the spaces nearby, as it might wander out of position).
Click here to read Steven's diary.