Under-rated attacker Salomon Kalou faces two weeks on the sidelines after a minor tear to his left thigh.
Sources close to the player have stated that he is struggling to wave the leg in that vague kicking manner which has served him so well this season.
When asked to comment, Kalou wouldn't be drawn on the matter, possibly because he didn't understand what was going on.
Sala is doubtful for the clash with Portsmouth on the 12th of December, but really nobody cares because they are awful.
(Although we hear that their new manager is something of a miracle working with them there cones.)
More to follow (doubtfully).